Is it important to have lesbian friends in order to find a relationship?

In my group of friends, I am always the "token" lesbian. My entire group of friends is 100% straight. Does this make it harder for me to find possible girlfriends? Does the "token" lesbian remain single? Is it harmful to hang out with only straight people? How would a "token" lesbian find a relationship?

Is it important to have lesbian friends in order to find a relationship?
Well if you're a lesbian and you don't spend any time with other lesbians it does seem it will be difficult for you to find a date. Obviously you have to spend some time meeting people who might be interested in dating you in order for you to ever begin a relationship.





Is it harmful to hang out with people who would never think about dating you? No, why should it be? Most straight men spend the majority of their time hanging out with other straight men. It doesn't hurt anything, it just means they don't get many dates.





In order to find a relationship you need to find some way to connect with the type of people you would want to have a relationship with. You might try going to places where you think other lesbians hang out. If that's not your scene you might meet someone through an online group or a chat board. Or you can just keep watching to see if any of your "straight" friends seems to flirt with you.
Reply:It's good to have lesbian friends to help you when you are going through something that they understand and relate to. Not for the hook up. It's hard trying to talk to someone who doesn't have a clue what it's like to be gay. What can they help you with, but telling you that what your doing is wrong. Not everyone wants that kind of advice. I know when I'm going through I wish I had a friend that I could talk to about what I am going through.
Reply:It's good that you hang out with straights, but when it comes time to finding a partner, a bar or the internet will be the luckiest way to do it. To find a gay partner in general public would be a sort of cat and mouse game that may truly offend some people. You wouldn't want your friends to go to your bars, so you would need alternate friends or fly solo. The internet should be making things easy for you, no?
Reply:well if you dont know any other lesbians then your chance of having a relationship is reduced but that doesnt mean you should go make friends with people just because of their sexuality. ask your straight friends to go to a gay club with you so you can meet girls
Reply:i dont think it matters its easier but at the same time do u really want to be in a group where they all dated eachother at least once
Reply:i just wanted to tell you that my wife right was lesbian until we started talking she was lesbain for her hole life...so what I'm telling you that has worked for me is love will find you and you will find love. oh and more thing token may or may not help u in the world of love.
Reply:You must be waiting for someone to get curious? Go spend time with your own kind.
Reply:Well, I figure it'd be easier if you did because, you know, social networking. Heh I know how being the only gay one in a group is like too =]
Reply:It's great to have some lesbian friends but dont just surround yourself with nothing but lesbian friends. From my own personal experience, when I surround myself with nothing but lesbians, there is nothing but drama. Its always she said this, she said that. Not to mention a lot of lesbians seem to have hidden intentions with their friendships with other lesbians.





I would suggest that you make some lesbian friends, but also keep your straight friends as well. It would be even better if you would be able to eventually have both your lesbian friends and your straight friends hang out with each other. That way the drama will more than likely be kept in check.





There are many ways to find a relationship. If you are old enough, you could always check out a gay bar. I'm sure you will be able to make loads of gay friends in there. Also, there are plenty of websites that you could use to connect with other lesbians such as; gay.com if you live in the states or gaycanada.com if you live in Canada. Either way, if you make a profile and make an effort to find friends and potential suiters, I'm sure you will have no problems.





Good luck!
Reply:it is hard being the only lesbian one in your group of friends, but it doesn't make alot of difference..


you can meet lesbians anywhere, at the clubs, at the mall... and you can simply know that they're lesbian! so if you're at the mall with your friends and you saw a girl that you like, you'd still walk over to her and talk to her!! so no i don't think you need to have lesbian friends in order to find a relationship.. are you gonna date all of your friends????
Reply:It can be hard to meet other like-minded people despite your orientation. The token lesbian doesn't stay single she just needs to spread her wings.


If you aren't really into the whole gay bar scene there are usually pubs that hold lesbian nights and stuff like that,


Start with some online networking (you don't have to date the girls on there if that's not your thing) it's just good to have someone to talk to.


ourchart.com is an l word fan site that is based on profiles connecting woman to other woman, thereis all sorts of people on there from all over the world. I'm jaymi-l if you wanna talk,


afterellen.com is good to keep in the know of gay pop culture/happenings and there are plenty of groups on facebook that do gay outings.


Just hang in there. You'll find her.


I don't think it's harmful to hang out with lots of straight people- but you do need to mingle to meet girls.

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