Why can't I find any friends with children?

I'm 19, and I guess you could say I've grown out of my old friends. I have a 4 month old son, and he's all my fiance and I can think about! Its hard for us to relate to anyone anymore! I thought it would be easier to talk to his friends, hes 23 and has friends with two kids...... but they still pawn their newborn off on grandparents and even threw a party when their son was just weeks old!


Older mothers look down on me like I'm a child, which I am not. I've been on my own since I was 17, have a job that allows me to take my son with, (he has NEVER had a babysitter, not even family. part because I'm so attached to him, and part because I don't want to be looked at as the steriotype teen mom who doesn't take care of her own kid.) and have been with my childs father for nearly four years.


Where can I find people with similar circumstances? Yes, I'm a young mom, but that does not mean I'm irresponsble. I just wish there were someone I could talk to.


-thank you in advance.

Why can't I find any friends with children?
girl we r alike alot... im 19 my hubby is 23 we have been together for almost 4 years now we only have 1 couple friends with a lil girl close to our sons age i know its hard to find a couple u both get along with and we had some friends like that took that had partys all the time even with there kids there and theres ppl drinking and smokeing and smokeing somthing they shouldnt b too...???!!! and they ask y didnt u bring ur baby.... wtf yea we dont talk to them anymore but we should really talk if u want my yahoo ID is xxxwickedxkittyxxx IM me someday
Reply:i am 21 and have a two year old. i understand your situation. my wife is VERY overprotective. I had to show her that being overprotective is not always the best thing. of course you want to protect you kid but you don't have to be glued to them. IT IS IMPORTANT for you to let your son develop. Erikson says that right now they are in a TRUST VS. MISTRUST developmental stage. He should be exposed to other people (close family members) so that he recognized the trust he has with you. It is hard to leave him with them but you also NEED A BREAK. IT is important as well to spend time alone with your husband because relationships can break easily with the added stress and the constant attention. im talking 2 hours per week if possible. just so you guys can talk and enjoy each others company. see a movie, go to the park. your son is young and it will get easier as he grows older. we didn't leave the house until 4 months (due to low immune system) and left him with my mom at 1 and a half. so it take time. its not an overnight thing. when he becomes a toddler he will want to be alone but want you availble if needed. he will learn autonomy vs. doubt and shame. He will want to gain his independence. ALSO i wanted to inform you about the MMR and other vaccine injections he will get a 15 months. do some research. legislation is trying to delay immunization to a later age because they have been linked to AUTISIM. your child can be normal , get vaccinations and then develop autisim. im not saying not to vaccinate him, but i think you should research it. I think the combination vaccine causes the Autism but it you get single injections and different times then he should have a lower risk of getting it according to some research. good luck and also i want to praise you for being a great mom, don't care what society thinks about you , care what you child thinks about you. mother is god in the eyes of the child!
Reply:im a young mom with an 11 month old. im 21
Reply:k, I'm 17and have a 21 month boy it has been really hard for me to find friends at all even thou more then half of mine have kids its the problem for me of not having the father around that the other girls don't like but with you you arent young..i bet you are a great mother and you will always be a great mother just i would suggest putting an ad out or something in your home town..
Reply:See if there's any mom and baby/tot programs in your area to meet other moms with similar aged children : try librarys, posts at community centers, posts at walk in or other health clinics. Sometimes you can find free or cheap baby and me classes through a leisure guide ..... try googling baby and me programs in your area and see if that works --- and don't feel so alone --- most of us have also gone through similar situations ---


once you find a program or two make sure you set get together dates for both your babies and yourselves!!!!
Reply:Check with some local churches, YMCA, colleges for young adult groups geared toward couples with young children. You might even advertise in the paper! How about checking into play groups geared for babies? Were you in a childbirth class before he was born? look up some people you met there. Keep trying. You need friends with common interests.
Reply:I have been walking every day for the last 5 years in your shoes. I am 24 and I also had my first child at 19. Before I was pregnant I was a bit of a party girl, but when I met my husband and found out I was pregnant that all changed and I too outgrew my friends. I found out that they were not really friends, but someone to hang out with and party with. We quit hanging around nearly all the friends we had and my husband worked while I waited home expecting the baby. Then 1 1/2 years later my daughter came. We do not pawn off our children and everything in life we do is for them. I guess, when we grow up and nobody else around us does you are looked at as the boring responsible one to people your own age and as the young, dumb irresponsible ones to the older crowd. It's not easy being in the middle but hang in there. It sucks but I guess it's reality, and hey, I'm proof you are not alone. Good luck and hang in there, even if it means not having friends--- you are doing the right thing!! You sound like a really wonderful mom and I admire that!!!!